i cant believe i still have the time to blog when here i am worrying over the horrible chem tutorial.

anyway, charity fest today was a mess. honestly...i just went breathless and felt i'm in a hot sauna room. lol. the guys were practically dripping sweat (stop trying to hint tt u're hot ks) and playing was quite soft and *ahem*...craps, dunno how we gonna survive SYF like tat. practise oh practise......

reminder: ks wants FHM and soft sax for birthday. apprantly Maxim has too ugly pictures for ur taste ks...=_=

college day. yah, quite successful, but i din catch steph dance. :( bad. the performance was quite gd, and seems like vj got loads of achievements.

charity fest. quite successful too, though i made couple of STUPID mistakes. urghs. stoned, laugh, and got a shock at the neo-print machine. thanks bros...wad a memory to treasure. *roll eyes* lol.

toked to mr lee, discussed bout concert next yr. ahh...seems tt there's a crisis.

p.s since ks wishes to be mentioned in my post, i have graciously decided to mention him. thank me brother...

i almost missed the bus-stop, which prob means i'll arrive sumwhere in sengkang. i missed the meteor shower too, but like de, since its scheduled to be at 2am i heard.

but i saw a lot of planes though, and lightning, and trees swaying. yeah, and spent time stoning, sleeping, watching pple drown...

ha pple, prepare for a surprise on monday! oh well. i'll just laugh my head off.

ok, i have a million things to do.

-see mr foo for maths
-do chem tutorial
-get duos going
-do scaled drawing of set
-prepare for marc's production
-do Les Chairs
-go for NUS charity fest performance
-get artery planning going
-read all my books which are due in...well...4 days
-watch lake house
-watch tt jap movie bout a kid n fox (looks really cute)
-get new music for my ipod

and perhaps another 999,999 things which i can't rem now. damn

its at these times when i need the beach. omg i need the beach so much...so much...i just wanna walk and walk, and sit on breakwaters, and stare at the horizon, n listen to the waves swishing, and then have a moment of peace...and perhaps start pondering bout my life, and wishing there was a shoulder beside me to cry on...if only singapore wasn't so hot, if only e breakwaters didn't have ants crawling...i'll probably like swear and scream and shout, and give the rocks a kick or two. den burst out laughing, or crying whichever way i feel like, shout a thousand you-know-whats....then perhaps i'll feel better, and give my friends a hug, and get a ben and jerry's ice-cream or something like tt, den sit again at the breakwaters, thinking abt the things worth rem in my life, and start grinning to myself like an idiot

yst i was wondering why do pple like to make fun of me so much. general responses were i am fun to make fun of. right...right...i guess i dun really mind it so much. its just at that moment it hurts, but i cant flare up, so i smile...smiling is much easier, it uses lesser muscles at least. smile and smile, den perhaps give tt person a punch or two (friendly alright) or scream (friendly too) at dem, or roll my eyes, den continue laughing...and i cant be bothered to do anything serious bout it, so i continue smiling, and soon it pasts. honestly, my tempers come quick and go fast. i dun know whether tt's gd or bad, i hope its gd

and yeah, e above post is totally random n idiotic and just shows my horribly confused thoughts. heck my brain. heck it

i must have mentioned a million n one times to a million n one pple about how much i hate my life. i hate it!!! like really bad!!!!!! i just wanna join char in burning the sch down, and forbade my mum from seeing mr chua this sat, and not to go for never ending maths and chem lects and tutorials!! oh my god how i hate this continuous pointless and useless routine!!!! tell me where's my life, when i have so many things i want to do but i'm wasting all my time on this idiotic irritating mugging thing. damn....damn.....damn............

arghs if there's one thing tt bug me the most its how horrible life is. but of course, that's e thing pple get worried about. and pple ard me are suffering from a lack of love....i hate co-ed...i'm gonna be a nun.....honestly. i just hope the nunnery will accept me

met up wif yy today!!!!! yeah!!!!!! so long no see!!!! haha, u n ur te***** ah.....tsk tsk. be brave lah! dun let it just past like tt, or u'll regret in future! its painful you noe. haha. and never ever use tt neo machine again. its so horrible!!!!!

i love set. i'm obsessed wif set. set is impt. set is pretty. set is everything. set is my LIFE!!!

to u-noe-who-u-are if u ever read this:
i keep my promises so i'll not divulge anything. just to let ya noe i'll always be here to listen. cheer up! n uh...i'm not *******

lets start wif yst, went for a NAFA performance. their in charge is really really nice and friendly. and dere are a few workshops i'm interested in. so...oh well

had e suzuki workshop today. its really fun!!! ok...i'm interrupted by this really disturbing scene i'm watching on tv of this girl who's crying really ugly-ly. anyway, yeah, its fun, and jason has really really funny poses!

went to esplanade wif matt,jas. worked out my set. yeah! ok, tt means i have to see mrs low next week. so exciting!!! i love set!

just this morning i was feeling motivated to study hard for promos, partly due to Matt's card (tts really sweet of you matt), mrs Chan's 'lecture', and also, well, partially because i want to do well! but now i feel a total total lack of motivation, especially after today's chem lecture which to me is total crap!

oh, tmr is racial harmony day!!! yeah! catch jason in his geisha thingy, or matt dressing up as a kopi seller! hahahaha!

pirates of the carribean 2 is funny. ok, there are sum parts where i covered my eyes (which i seriously dun noe why now i'm thinking back) and e pple on the flying dutchman are really fugly...so tt proves the success of the makeup artists. other than that i spent half e time laughing at most of e scenes, which are really quite...ridiculous. lol. but its really funny. and i love the witch (norah jones), she is really really cool. e ending hints heavily on e storyline of pirates 3. i spent 8mins plus laughing at names tt are totally weird during credits...sumthing like Peter Mountain. yeah.

btw, sy has a new scandal. why am i not surprised. lol. and yeah, i've vowed not to be violent (which i actually am not) i will not break e vow. lol

monos are over. wasn't so bad after all. lofty thought tt me arranging my set was part of e piece and he wrote a few comments on tt. haha. oh well

i passed econs n gp. yeah!

ciao

i'm freaking out, cause monos is tmr. e 15 pple today are really really gd. like matt (duh) like steph (duh duh) and li jia, who was so incredibly funny i laughed till i cried. i just cant believe i'm gonna go ard screaming 'albert!' like...2 octaves higher tmr. double eww.

anyway, 1st official harmoc prac in ages. i guess i have forgotten how painful harmoc can be. my cheeks hurt. haha. anyway, stop discussing bout my pimple u bunch of idiots...lol. yes i know its big and glowy like a traffic light but shud up, cause i'm working hard on it...=_= ks u are forgiven, partially because of e 2 hairs i plucked from ur finger. and sy, i dun care but u still chi le ren jia tofu...muahahahaha. so suspicious lah u scandal king! (though u have close competition) and stop kissing ur phone. hahahaha. when 4 guys are on ur screen. its so so sooooo strange...

ok, i've deleted e last para. i guess its better said in person. forget it....honestly

public p is over. loads of us cried. i did not. i was too high. the impact still hasnt set in. yst when the houselights blew i thought even the sch was our enemy. when a box fell during talia's piece i wanted to block out everyone's ears. when andrea put up the auntie role so well yst i burst out laughing in e sound room (resulting in missing of cues) i'm terribly terribly sorry. after e finale when everyone just hugged and cried (like steph,jayne,jason,john...) and screamed till our voices went hoarse i just felt like telling everyone in sight that i love them so much. i really really love u guys so much.

i love the seniors. i'll rem bob, who fell flat on the ground. i'll rem rowell, gliding across the stage in crutches. i'll rem mike, whom i hugged and almost, almost made me cry. i'll rem talia, who cried so much. i'll rem everyone. even after all the grumblings and discords and stuff i still love you all so much. thanks for all ur patience and stuff, and for teaching us so many things.

i love TSD 06. i'm missing all the times we slot for the seniors. the many many trips down to parkway, to 7-11, bumping in and out, getting props, bitching, slapping (in e case of muthu jas n john) crying and laughing together,cleaning up. 6mths means so much. thanks so much matt, muthu, mel, steph, zach, char, jas, john, jayne, ahnaf, ling, grace, alia, jia hui, li jia, jill, claire, kyna, laypeng, hannah, huiying, kok jun, zhuang yuan, christian, andre, dennis, tim. i'll rem mel who shouted with me into matt's ears and made them ring. i'll rem muthu who 'comforted' jason by slapping him 60 times. i'll rem ling spinning me ard and made me dizzy. i'll rem jayne and steph bawling their eyes out. i'll rem andre walking ard wif tt condom n getting a slap from claire. i'll rem zach in e kissing antic wif muthu. thanks so much guys, for being wonderful friends, and fond memories i'll rem in years to come. and its not over, cause we still half a year n half slotting for ourselves and sticking together.

yeah, quoting from rowell, we are now seniors. i feel old, and its freaky cause now we are bearing the VJC TSD title. it has finally fallen upon our shoulders. but still, we're all gonna pull through. honestly i think we will.

and it just strucked me more than ever....friends are all i need...thanks so much

tsd public p day 1: matinee's attendance was rather rather pathetic. lol. but den again e studios looked quite full cause our own pple were watching. night show had a FULL HOUSE!!! with pple overflooding onto the steps of AVA. yeah!! it gave the actors a lot a lot of motivation. marene's piece was quite ok...but i was too caught up with laughing to do e peanut peanut thingy...so tt was bad. arghs. i'm so sorry marene...we screwed up the piece. and tash...the music was really horrible! i just felt really really bad! without zy everything was very disorganised and not up to standards! and there were stupid mistakes made by the orchestra. just pray that the audience din know tt...

tonight AC's gonna do the closing item. pray it goes well...it was a bit screwed during matinee, but oh well

tmr is public pee! yeah!!!

went to suppt muthu as he worked diligently, and laughed as he called jason sir, which is just sooooo strange. succeeded in conking jayne, matt and jason on e head. so i guess tt's a big achievement for today.

anyway, my dad just approved of me gg for e OCIP to cambodia end of the yr! yes!! i feel happy!!!!! yeah!!!!

i hope mr chua will give back e econs paper soon. i've almost died waiting for it.

ps. zach has scored a 22/30...brilliant

self control. self control. self control...

anyway, i went down wif jas n john to esplanade today to borrow books for DUOS, and I/S! the set books are quite interesting. and to jas and john's absolute horror i started reading reference books bout history of theatre. sorry but i'm just feeling incredibly stupid amongst all the talented ppl in the cohort. apparantly stupidity motivates pple to work hard, and after today's lect i just feel really lousy. so i'm reading. yes i'm reading. and in fact i'm gonna tok to the teachers soon. i'm not gonna fail my promos

i'm starting to love my class much more than when i first came in. there are nice pple ard who made me and muthu felt welcomed. The kingdom of scandalvania has most graciously welcomed our presence. and just a random comment, but timt is p-m-sing :)

ahnaf won the PESA speech competition!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!! congrats dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! celebrate!!!!

i dun really know where to start, cause everything is so horrible and confusing and totally totally wrong. i dun even need to get to details to tell how bad everything is. i hate it i hate it i really hate being wronged! every GM makes me feel really irritated and affected and horrible and even though i'm SURE its NOT MY FAULT! i still feel really horrible.

i thinks its e 4th GM this yr and still we are getting e same load of shit, the same preaching, same points, same attitude with no offer of communication. how many times have i sat there wanting to juz ask for them to shut up cause everything boils down to e same pt! at least makoto did it for us today! i thank all e seniors who have spoken up for us, and before they started reprimanding us they could at least communicate bet themselves first? it jus goes to show how divided e yr2s are, when here they are saying that e yr1 cohort is divided. i dun care if e yr2s are reading this but u know this is true and you jus simply know it, so there's no way of denial! i hate it hate it when they speak to us on the whole instead of getting it clear wif those pple they wanna pin pt. its USELESS putting us through all this shit cause this is e 4TH TIME we are at this topic, and the only reason why we are not getting results is because u are targeting at the wrong pple!

and i do not think the seniors are being very initiative, i'm sorry but i cant really SEE e passion in theatre in all yr2s. if you think passion is sumthing we should DISPLAY so as to prove we have it then i'm sorry i cant see tt same passion in all of you. i have many seniors i love and enjoy working for, not only because they are nice, but i can see their PASSION! like talia, who slogs away quietly in a corner repairing puppets, or rowell, who is constantly looking for inspirations, or tash, who's very demanding but has a clear idea of wad she wants! i see them work! i see them care! if u wan us to care bout ur piece u jolly well show that u care bout urs! i dun think u can reprimand us when you dun do wad you preach! wad's the point then?!!! e only ones i'm willing to work for are those who respect us and respect themselves!

its really really unfair and i hate to see everyone breaking down. i hate to cry in front of the seniors! i hate it i hate it and i really tried to stop but i just couldn't! this is not the first time but it still affects me so cause its really horrible! i hate being wronged by others! i hate to see those who slogged their lives out to cry just because of the horribly irresponsible comments! i hate pretentious and irresponsible pple, i hate to see my friends break down, i hate pple who dun know when to stop! i hate pple who dun appreciate our efforts! and i really wished they would point out tt person who said he/she was slogging hard for public performance, which i absolutely dun think there is! if its just some lie made up then they jolly well have the guts to own up cause i think you are really a nutcase and idiot and f****** bastard!

i love my seniors, like mike,kai,talia,rowell, even bob,saifu whom i've never worked with. i thank bob and makoto for putting word of justice. i love my friends. i love matt, muthu, mel, steph, jason, zach, char, jayne, ling, grace, john, ahnaf......i love steph who had e courage to leave AVA. i love mel whos always quietly doing her work. i love matt, who put in so much and is always there. i love muthu who always cheers us up. i love jason who is always bitching and true. i love zach with all his funny ways. i love char, whom i fought with and cried with. i love jayne who is sharp and witty. i love john, the resident bitch. we've gone through so much in the past 6 mths and i really love you all a lot a lot! i love how matt and i swept e floor. i love how muthu, jas and john bitch. i love e girls talk with steph,mel,char,jayne blah blah. i love the days we spent during e As, slotting and all.

its such a long list i can go on and on. long winded perhaps but i really wanna say you all mean a lot to me, much more than i might mean to you. i love u guys. and i swear, SWEAR, its e last time im gonna cry for someone not worthy for. it has gone far enough, and it has to stop.

everyone's going off e rocket these days, and i think i'm displaying tt quality too. i honestly hate it hate it hate it when i'm forced to do stuff. like PW. like TSD. like MATHS. like GP!!!!!!!! urghs dun get me on e topic of our GP teacher AGAIN but yeah, u get e idea (*breathe* control)

if it wasnt enough in school i'm getting e same load of shit at home, having to write my daily schedule on a whiteboard...wth *roll eyes* and trying to fight my parents from paying a "friendly visit" to Mr Chua. well i suppose its all my fault i din mug hard enough but den again the maths paper was f****** hard! and i thought i could at least get a sub pass....which obviously turn out to be one big fat joke of e century.

i think if it wasn't for all e friends ard i'll prob be one of those ah-lian's wandering aimlessly on the streets. pple to bitch to (credit goes to u TSDians), and tok and laugh and cry and scream...speaking of screaming i almost blew up at mao today. sorry mao but it was getting a bit too much and sumthing jus snapped. and yeah i noe i'm violent...=_=...so if u wan u can fight me. i wun mind :) and sorry to e bunch of guys who...uh...obviously saw e wrong side of me. i can be a very friendly person *smiles sweetly* ok ok...stop puking.

its after reading something that i realised things are drifting further and further apart. the faster it comes the faster it goes. school, work, friends...just when you got used to something beside you, it just seems to drift away. and sometimes, it just gets so painful...................

time jus doesnt seem to be enough, wif a million n one things to do. n after matt told me monos is due very very very soon...(i shall pretend i dun noe, but oh well) i juz feel like getting stranded on an island n juz rot and die. honestly e teachers are ****ing irritating, i mean IF is just IF! like wad e hell do u expect! yst halfway during intermission matt and i had a wonderful time bitching. and tt was enough to start me blogging AGAIN abt TSD! abt the SAME OLD ******* issue! like wad de heck!

anyway, piano concert was quite gd with a wide range of pieces (i liked e latin songs) sum teacher came to perform, which was quite gd but e singing quite quite spoilt e thing. almost fell asleep at some of the long pieces, but dey were really techinically diff.

went for e NUS fiesta audition thingy today. apparantly e latest fav of sy is curry finger. and brothers can u all stop suan-ing me...lol....(sister included if ks wanna remain a girl) but den again i'm in this really foul mood, so oh well, sorry ppl

check out retards for photo update...which i haven done so YET...

monos n I/S are finally approved. at least tts a load off my mind now. PW has started to come along, and written report is due in a mth...like how fast can they get. hmm. apparantly 15 haven even started on EoM (matt u lucky ppl) for all e hard work we better all get an A. =_=

failed to watch e germ vs italy match, but wahaha, italy won!!! yes!!!!! and i really wan portugal to win, although dey are not as gd as france. hmm...countdown to e last 3rd match

i thought i would have lots to say, but nothing can be said. wad is e purpose of blogging. honestly

life never fails to amaze me. or perhaps its me who never fails to amaze myself. but its only e 1st day n i guess i've forgotten how horrible school can be

pt 1: new gp teacher is total total crap. we spent 3 periods introducing each other, providing her wif info such as timt's love of oranges, ruth's no.22 n no.57, and how eugene is supposedly to be chasing yulu...=_=. 3 attributes, proof n 2 best friends in class. yeah. like excuse me but we're not pri school kids. muthu spent half e time hyperventilating and swearing, and sumhow timy started playing guzheng *roll eyes* i really miss leonard ng.

pt2: mr foo marked e maths papers, and urs truly scored an all time low! wahaha.....can i just say i expected it. and my chem mcq is totally in e ditches. to think mw read out e marks in class...freaky embarrassing. but i'm learning to laugh bout it, its always better than crying

pt3: TSD has made my mood slide right down to e ditch. apparantly e teachers have e wonderful capability to convey e exact same old msg while making pple feel miserable at e same time. how u are suppose to FEEL for theatre. and all e mono/duo/IS are getting to my nerves and i'm feeling really incompetant. on e other hand, public p is confirmed to be on e 15-16th, though i'm not sure if non-TSD-related pple are invited (i think dey are) but heys, come for e performance!!! zz u all better cum ah. lol

p.s harmoc chalet photos are up already at e usual place

back from an absence of...uh...since e brazil match. (sorry i cant count)

have not slept for...30hrs. wow. first watched e portugal vs england match. and YES! my prediction came totally true and england got kicked out after penalty shootout! moment to rem when rooney stepped on a portugal player's balls and got a red card...=_=...skills without brains. honestly. anyway portugal won! yeah!! (and yes sy, c ronaldo is quite hot,but in my opinion kaka is still hotter)

den came e freaking horrible match bet brazil n france where brazil lost! sorry but this is e 1st time i'm staying up so late (or early) to watch a SOCCER match and brazil just lost like...TAT! =_= although i admit their strikers are totally uh...floating across e fields aimlessly (bit like jas yeah?) freaky disappointed lah...but zz got quite happy cause his sis lost 70bucks in e process. *roll eyes*

anyway...germ might be meeting france in finals...hmm...although i wan portugal to win

so after e match slept for a while and went off for harmoc chalet. strictly speaking not many pple were dere, but dere was sufficient food. a night accompanied by fire, ashes, beach, ants, pool, cards (specifically bridge), blankets, walks and laughter...i think i laughed off half e stuff i ate. (and ks laughed till tears came down in torrents) sum of us weren't dere, sum of us slept through e night, sum of us (well actually me,ag n ks) did not sleep a wink at all...it was free n easy without climaxes, but everyone was at ease, and time seemed to past quickly with talks, time spent at e beach...i'm missing e beach again now. some things are just so simple yet so precious, and some things were understood without spoken. to look within urself, and question wad u are looking for. walks at 2am does funny stuff to pple. and of course e excos slogged themselves out, clap claps for them! :)

went for movies today, ending up wif me n sy watching e king n the clown, which is obviously a wrongly rated movie that includes "EXPLICIT" sexual implications accompanied by violence. tempo was a bit slow, but e humour (crude as can be) and tragic parts were quite well filmed. poor king has only 2 expressions--solemn n fierce OR a perverted grin...=_= such a hopeless character. anyway, to those who deem demselves innocent (tt takes a lot of integrity), uh...watch it and laugh. yeah

ps. mango plus butterscotch is a weird ice-cream mixture i would strongly advise u not to try. mango butter does not prove itself very appealing. thanks

franco is a bloody useless goalie. argentina lost and germ won. total waste of my time.

n england better lose tonight...honestly