ah...well...

2008-03-19T17:25:00.002+08:00

I haven't touched my blog for so long!! Oh man.

Well its 5 plus plus in the office, i'm slacking. Boss is having a meeting. I am dying.

My life is screwed. I dont even know what i'm doing now. Mr you-know-who just f***ing walked out of the office without telling me. I am irritated leh.

And well...i feel so disrespected. My god. Kill me.

2008-02-12T17:45:00.001+08:00

I am getting increasingly fustrated at work. Really fustrated

And well, i should have more confidence in myself, right? Afterall, if it ultimately boils down to *****, then there's nothing worth taking into account for this whole affair. Hmmmm.

I am still very fustrated at work. VERY.

Anyone who has good looking ORD boys/A level girls for the filling in of the post of Recruitment Consultant (i.e what i am doing), please recommend me. Lets just say, i (the department) am(is) desperate.

I foresee that i will be extremely fustrated at work for a long time

So yeah...please console me. Thanks.

2008-02-06T15:56:00.000+08:00

as i was talking to yy today, i've made up my mind abt some stuff. i guess i really have to eat my own words, cause freaking hell i realise i do care. its just getting past the "i care" stage into the "i care but i can control" stage.

its only been a week and it feels like its been ages. i don't actually wanna admit it, but i have to say, you are missed. not 24/7, but definitely missed.

someone pls stop me!

2008-01-30T13:52:00.000+08:00

all my bags are packed and i'm ready to go
i'm standin here outside your door
i hate to wake you up to say goodbye
but the dawn is breakin it's early morn
the taxi's waitin he's blowin his horn
already i'm so lonesome i could die

so kiss me and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go
cause i'm leavin on a jet plane
don't know if i'll be back again
oh babe i hate to go

ther's so many times i let you down
so many times i've played around
but i tell you now they don't mean a thing
every place i go i'll think of you
every song i'll sing i'll sing for you
and when i come back i'll wear your wedding ring

so kiss me and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go
cause i'm leavin on a jet plane
don't know when i'll be back again
oh babe i hate to go

now the time has come to leave you
one more time now let me kiss you
close your eyes and i'll be on my way
dream about the days to come
when i won't have to leave alone
about the times that i won't have to say....

oh kiss me and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me
cause i'm leavin on a jet plane
don't know when i'll be back again
oh babe i hate to go

i'm leavin on a jet plane
don't know when i'll be back again
oh babe i hate to go

i'm leavin on a jet plane
don't know when i'll be back again
oh babe i hate to go

but i'm leavin on a jet plane .....

*************

till the 17th of Feb

2008-01-28T12:51:00.001+08:00

i am fucking pissed off. i can't exactly explain how fucking pissed off i am, but yeah....i am fucking pissed off. In fact, i think that's the only thing i am capable of now, being fucking pissed.

To say the truth, i dun even know why the hell i got myself into all this shit, cause honestly, i don't deserve this. so you know what? just f off alright??!!!

The above incoherent post is, once again, evidence of my incapability to control/comprehend the situation. Sometimes i just wish that i'd be dead, my eyes are blind, ignorant and oblivious. But obviously this does NOT happen, so...well...fuck off. No matter how many times, how many many times its re-validated (hell if there's such a word), i think it should have never ever happened. If not i wouldn't be in so much trouble, and problems, and...well...have smth prickling.

I miss the simple JC world. I really do. I mean...to say the least...things were simple. And well, i was simple, the people ard were simple.

And yeah, i totally agree with what you said, Hansel. "20 year old boys are *****"
In fact, come to think of it, thats the only thing they're good at.

For the (n+1)th time, f*** off NOW. Make it a GP progression!

2008-01-21T18:45:00.000+08:00

I am blogging from the office. I've lost touch with the virtual world as the horrible realistic working world take up ALL my time. Ok, probably not all. Most. But thats enough.

I should stop being such an idiot. Come to think of it, i HATE people like that! So why should i sink so low and turn into someone i despise. F***. In fact, i should, as usual, be oblivious and indifferent and say "i don't give a damn". This strangely reminds me of last year, the same situation, different person.

Anyway, matt is getting outta PRISON!!! haha. ok, confinement. But yeah,can't wait to see him! Love you deep deep matt!!!

And i am still waiting...still waiting...endless waiting...pointless waiting...waiting...............................reminds me of WFG.

F***

2008-01-09T20:54:00.000+08:00

Matt, you are missed by me (and others of course) like...i will freaking miss you badly!!!! I await the day we meet up again!

Anyway, dear removed his wisdom tooth today. i guess it is freaking hurting him. Hmmm...i shall not think abt it, everything which i shouldn't

In a way, its good to think of the end, cause the end might be much much sooner than you think

2008-01-08T20:15:00.000+08:00

I've sinned. My god. Someone kill me, please!

In the meantime, i'm getting quite upset about work. But i refuse to back down. Hell. I go to work everyday, feeling i'm fighting the Vietnam War or Iraw War or the Civil War with my bare hands. In the end, i realise i'm alone, and the blood is flowing.

In the meantime of meantime, f*** there's this weirdo standing at the window opp my block peering into my room. Like...GO AWAY!

Now back to the reason why i blogged. I've sinned. I'm sorry. I can't promise i won't do it again (in fact i think i might), but still...its a mistake. But yeah...talk about experience and talent and practice....I feel like a monster. GRRRRR.

Anyway, someone call and comfort me please. I think i need some comforting these days.

2008-01-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

Chalet with the harmoc ppl, i got whacked taking the viking at escape. Lol, happy puking buddies with zz. Anyway, went off at night for Arena inter-jc pageant. That hottie from...tjc? Gd looking ah beng graham didn't win!! DAMN. but yeah, matt mumu jason jon (as usual) were damn high so we were dancing and dancing till one plus. lol. It was actually quite nice seeing the guys loosen up and everything. Haha. Then yeah, i ended up whacked. Hmm...shall not go into details, but yeah. Not as bad as post prom though! =P

I love the way he says my name. Ahaha!

2008-01-05T00:29:00.000+08:00

I'm actually thinking, i might be taking his life away. All the stuff he loves, does, enjoys...I seem to be taking them away from him. Fri late night outs, soccer, drinks, parties...and sometimes the silences. But yeah, i do love the late night outs, the tickles, the laughter, the i'm-getting-lost sessions, rides home. Hmmm. Its just so much to share, so much to love, so much to keep.

I'd hate to see it end. I think i'll be quite upset :)

2008-01-01T18:50:00.000+08:00

Its the new year. And well, things happen. Like darling jason getting drunk at bedok reservoir, or me having to play the dodging game to dodge people (like duh), or the awful awful crowd at marina watching fireworks, and coffee with steph...

Honestly speaking 2007 was awful, and 2008 hasn't started out right. Come to think of it, i've learnt too much in 07. Hmmm. Its a bit fast to say if 08 would suck, but for now...steph i am NOT what you said i was! I dun want to you-know-what! And i guess i'd watch myself, so don't worry! (i don't think you would)

No new year resolutions, lets just say, i won't keep to them in the first place. But yeah, maybe one of the resolutions could be "Consider being a nun"

When all is lost, just look back and say 'its no big deal'

2007-12-25T10:44:00.000+08:00

Ahhh...billy bombers yst with family and yy, cost me a BOMB. then swensens with jing, hoho. Thanks to enrique for dropping by and saving me from the endless pits of boredom while queuing. (eh jing not blaming you) I suspect that stupid boy got drunk drunk. As for the rest, well, thanks santa, i guess Christmas eve wasn't that boring after all.

Hmmm, its not emo-ing, its thinking, thinking about things that are at points only meant to be thought and not said. I guess its really difficult to say it aloud sometimes, so, yeah, thinking leads to emo-ness.

MERRY XMAS PPLE!!! ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS AND LOTS OF LOVE TO EVERYONE I KNOW!!!! (and maybe not know)

2007-12-20T00:01:00.000+08:00

It is so f***ing unfair, when all pple do is to put words into my mouth. F***, so i have to pledge my faith and loyalty and my life just to prove that, yes, i do care, and do listen to what you say? Or what, insist, and repeatedly insist, that life will be screwed up without you? THANKS.

You know what? I'm damn freaking tired of everything. Don't make me hate all this. Please don't.

Come to think of it, this is not the 1st time its happening, is it

2007-12-16T12:46:00.000+08:00

I was just thinking, given a chance to choose again, i'll still go by what i've chose. I guess, i can't give up despite all the nightmares and loss and everything. This is when i conclude, i'm just too plain stupid

2007-12-07T19:35:00.000+08:00

Sec school friends. O-Ay o-ay

Dear TSD Darlings: Matt, Jason, Mel, Me, Steph

Dear other TSD Darlings: Grace, Mumu, Jon, Charlotte, Ling, Ahnaf

My best friends in 06S62: Timt, Eugene, Mumu, Alexi, Aki, LeeKee, Xianglong, Yinghan, Tallie, Xinying

Harmoc boys - The Entertainers: KianSin, YongSheng, ShunYuan, ZiZhao,Wenjun

OCIP: YongJian, Jia Hui, Me, Hansel

The OG Outing,everyother girl ps-ed me: Ray, Szehan, Clement, Timt, Daniel, Foong, Ter, Me, Chris

Finally, our PROM: Me, Ling, Jon, Deb, Char, Zach, Khairi

I'm hopeless with picture posting, and i realise i have no grp pictures with all the grps i should have. So, oh well...memories!

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON DEAR!!!! YOU ARE FINALLY 18!!!!

2007-12-06T13:10:00.000+08:00

Prom last night. Well, i guess what was more worth remembering was post prom. Drunk for the 1st time. Yes, and so sorry zach bout your shoes. I'm really sorry. Everyone was getting high on the dance floor, and well, jonny practically owned the place. Haha!

I'm still a little incoherant...well guys, send me the pics when u see me online. yup

2007-12-01T18:52:00.000+08:00

Went out for dinner with jason yst, i'll miss all the bitching days when he is in NS, though well, i was doing most of the talking. sigh. My office shoes are killing me, and i have blisters on my toe. And i'm losing my voice after answering phonecalls for 2 days. This is a bad sign.

Shopping with mum today. I must remember the potential christmas presents.

And well...2.5hrs on the phone gave me a lot. A lot of stuff to think through, be it yr ago or now.

2007-11-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

ok, this thing took long enough to load.

Date: 29th Nov 2007 Thurs

Event: 1st day of work

Job Description: Recruitment Consultant
-help ppl find jobs
-help many ppl find jobs
-help all homo sapiens and solve involuntary unemployment (mostly frictional)

Job Location: Ngee Ann City Tower A, #12-07 aka Recruit Express Pte Ltd (Healthcare Div)

Job Requirements:
-thick skin
-kiasu character
-a i'm-gonna-seduce-you-over-the-phone voice
-sales sales i must hit the sales target hit the sales target target hit hit............which translates into temp out temp out temp OUT!

Ad:

Anyone with relatives/cousins/friends yada yada certified/interested in the healthcare industry (i.e PSA, ward clerk, lab tech, staff/enrolled nurses, admin, HR, Customer Service, Secretary...yada yada) or in temp positions (preferably with work experience), pls look for me. Either mail your resume to temp@recruitexpress.com.sg or call 67363280.

And hell, pls Attn mail to Lisa, and look for Lisa when calling, cause well....my name is now Lisa. Thank you very much :)

2007-11-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

went ECP with harmoc yst. A once in a life time cycling experience from ECP via Kallang to Marina Square, and back in a pickup drove by ys's very nice and kind uncle. AHHH. So tired!! But rather exciting, especially on my 1st ride on a pickup. In fact, i went quite nuts waving to tourists on the Duck Tour, whom wave back rather enthusiastically. Hoho. I guess zz was ready to kill, yeah?? But hope u like ur boxers! "FREEDOM IS NOT WEARING ANYTHING!" And now, i am sunburnt, 1st time in 18yrs, and aching all over. See how unhealthy i am??

I guess everything is gg on fine. I need a job ASAP. yeah. ASAP

2007-11-19T22:24:00.000+08:00

its OVER!!!

Thank you thank you thank you.

And as steph has put it, i'm "royally f***ed" by tsd too. Hear hear

On a happier note, i can't wait to get my hair done :)

And watch Takuya Kimura who is so hot

And do a million and one other things

And...well...and yeah, send my friends off to NS

matt u better give me a ticket yeah? *pulls out dagger threateningly* lol

I hope i'll see some hot guy in HK. Hmmm. And steph, pls don't come back married to some Australia hunk k, i'll kill you. Haha.

And yeah, i need some excitement in my life

I'm getting incoherent

2007-11-16T19:46:00.000+08:00

For a moment, i thought i lost my username and password and i'll have to say bye bye to this stupid blog. But well, P&C is rather useful sometimes. Hmmmm.

A hilarious extract from some HK Tour Guidebook:

What's in a name??
"One of HK's odder cultural quirks is the range of eccentric English nickname: Photosynthesis, Frandie, Wealthy, Biscuit, Xerox, Tweetie....This is in part the result of a desire to embrace the English-speaking world............Seemingly gaugy names such as Lucky or Wealthy or the no-nonsense Money represent the aspirations of a people who have only enjoyed prosperity for a couple of generations....Humour is apparent with names that echo the individual's Chinese name, leaving the glorious Winky Wong Wing-kee....Fandie, Ankie and Banda represent a desire to be the only person in the entire world to have a certain name. And then there are the downright odd but memorable, such as Onions, Squash or Catherine(a man)"

Conclusion: WTF??!!!!!! I SWEAR WE HONGKONGERS DO NOT HAVE NAMES LIKE THESE!! I mean, PHOTOSYNTESIS WONG??!!!!!! (yeah but jason and i had a very gd laugh over this)

I can't believe how freaking selfish guys are...i simply just can't believe it. Pardon my lang, but seriously, **** homo sapiens with 2 balls and no brains. F***

remind me to delete this post someday. i can't believe how pissed off i am NOW. i have to control

2007-11-08T21:34:00.000+08:00

Yst, or maybe the day before since i can't count my days nowadays, i was reading Matt's tsd essay. It sounded so alien-ish and foreign, i couldn't help msg-ing him telling him how alien-ish and foreign it is. Well, you get my point. Hmmm. I'll gladly contribute my maths notes to zaizai for peepee-ing and pootpoot-ing :)

Anyway, i found a website with the oldest oldest dramas you can find. I swear they are ANCIENT. Its hilarious watching them. And i've watched hanakimi, hana yori 1&2, Hero, couple of hk dramas, and My Girl (for the nth time) this exam period. Makes me wonder when did i do all my studying. Arghs

Pirates 3 has some nice tracks. But i'll say Pirates 2 was better. And there's a track that reminds me of tash's exam piece. HELP!!

P.S jason's blog post is HILARIOUS. And the comments are even more so. For example, britney spears went onstage, saw her picture on the screens, and ran screaming offstage "I'M A FAT PIG!!!! I'M A FAT PIG!!!" ROFL

2007-11-01T15:54:00.000+08:00

one paper down, many more to go

For those who msg-ed: alexi, gabriel, timt, ter, mumu, sy, xl, steph, mel, eugene, ling, zz, edward, hansel. Thanks for remembering!! :)

I'm so sick of maths. And jason i'll wait to see you pass out as a big and barf MAN yeah? Lol.

Its funny how some things are such coindences, like enlistment dates for example =P

2007-10-27T16:37:00.000+08:00

Thanks matt, steph, mel, jason, mumu, zach, kok jun (and zhuang yuan) for the bday surprise! Love you guys!!! I prob gave them a heart attack. hmmm.

Because i've lost my voice, because GP is in 4 freaking days, because of everything. sigh

2007-10-21T20:53:00.000+08:00

A handful of small events have made the past few weeks endurable.

Say zach's bday dinner at Marche which has the most wonderfully wonderful tiramisu ice cream! Happy Birthday ZACH!!

Or the fact that Dumbledore's gay!! (thanks ahnaf) I hope it'll be a knock on the befuddled brains of Singaporeans, especially those who signed the keep377A petition. For more info, kindly refer to steph's blog or keep377A.com.

My favourite quote: "i'm just happily married. please keep s377a to safeguard my marriage. Removal of this law will allow our husbands to abandon their wives for other men. Give us ladies a safe marriage without attack from gays."

I'm sorry woman, the cruel truth is, if u can't keep your man, there must be a problem with you, yes??

And maybe the accusation of David Copperfield raping some woman in Panama. Or was it the Bahamas? Oh well. You see, he could just make you disappear from the face of the earth after raping you! Some deranged woman...

Oh, and of course, the fact that my chem MCQ marks are improving. I'm scoring 35/40 for my practice papers! woo hoo!!

I've been discussing my future with jason lately. Hmm. I think i might work out well as a lawyer fighting divorce cases. Then again, a gay activist wouldn't be that bad too.

Its rather stange but i'm feeling absolutely thrilled by the fact that the guys are gg for NS so soon. I'm noting down all ur enlistment dates!! *jumps*

2007-10-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

I wonder how it feels like to have a man fighting a war for you, especially someone you love. Speaking from the perspective of a woman, of course. Hmmm.

Going through the chemistry paper is really painful, all the more so when i discover all the silly mistakes i've made. Darn.

2007-10-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

Its farewell, and gdbye. Well, technically not yet, but soon enough, i guess. Farewell assembly today was rather hilarious with Stars Are Blind and you-know-who singing that hokkien song. Photo taking was a chore, but hey at least we're appearing in the yrbook as the pioneer batch of Artery! (and counting down to the fall of this CCA)

TSD farewell for Lofty wasn't all tears and drama, but i was on the verge of crying while we were singing You Are My Sunshine. Well, the end of this chapter means a whole new start, and i'm thankful for everything over the past 2 yrs. TSD 06 will always always be a brilliant chapter of my rather wasted/will be wasted life, just think abt how it has turned me into a rather bitchy character. SIGH! I swear i'm not bitchy at heart! Its just the pple, yes it is. Love you Matt Steph Mel Jason Mumu Jon Ling Ahnaf Zac Char and TITBITS!

I'll miss the people in 06S62. Honestly not all, but definitely some, and some much more than others. 06S62 has never been an enthusiastic and high class, but we've improved! Haha. Thanks to pple who have made my stay in the class memorable--- Eugene Alexi Xianglong Sam Timt Leekee Tallie XinYing Yinghan Jas Aki Lusha (mumu u are not to be double counted) Love you all so much!

WCS...sigh, i can't say how much we shared, though now its all in bits and pieces. Great times in 2006, i'll never forget. Of course the guys will carry on, but hmm, yeah...Is it any wonder that we'll never rem each other the same way again? SY YS KS ZZ AG YX MF WJ, still love you all loads, and always will. There's no formal gdbye, there's no formal gdbye, there's no formal gdbye...

I guess i'll rem Creon and OCIP 06 too, the 2 'big' (relatively) events in my stay in VJ. Bunch of very very very (i can't stress it enough) typical VS guys, and Prey Veng. And of course something i'll never forget. Given me a hard time, but nevertheless worth remembering.

Too many pple i know. Too little i know well. Too much gdbyes. And well, that's...that.Do tag if u've read.

As we march on to A levels!!

2007-09-26T21:44:00.000+08:00

I am currently in a foul mood...so i shall make a list

-i flunk chem
-i flunk chem
-i freaking freaking flunk chem

I think, i'm able to comprehend anything else. I mean, like what i told eugene, its not like i didn't work hard, but honestly i really have NO idea what else i can do. and its SO FUSTRATING!URGHS. I really wanna do well for chem, not tt i've got maths pinned down. And TSD is, well, unexpected, though i expected a better grade for Unseen. alright work hard work hard.

On a happier note, i went out with Creon yst. We enthusiastic folks, with an overwhelming response of 10 to 1, with yours truly being the one. Haha, so the guys ended up playing LAN, which (in my opinion) is a rather violent activity as proven by the numerous swearwords and shouting and flying tempers at the LAN shop at PS. And well, "chris is GODLIKE!! SOMEONE KILL HIM!!!" That totally got me cracking up, hahahaha, gg!! Then there was lunch at seoul garden, when clement the shameless fellow (ok jk) strolled in very late and sat there eating for FREE. Haha ter totally played a prank on him, clem clem *shakes head*

Then it was down to bedok and ECP with the class for the mid autumn celebrations. Very enjoyable, all of us acting as delinquents making rockets and bombs and setting fire to the beach. Sam the ma-ma-san failed wonderfully trying to work his magic. We should do this kinda stuff more often, it makes me feel like a kid once again. Eugene u still owe us mooncakes!

Hmmm. I think it must be all the bbq, but i'm falling ill, AGAIN. Basically, the doc's greeting was more of "you again??!!" as she looked through my records. Yes doc, i'm giving you more business, yeah?

I'll be a gd girl, i'll work hard, i'll help every old lady across the road, so please do gimme my AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA pretty pls? (with a cherry on top)

P.S I'm so proud of eugene and matt :) Not like they're my sons, but i feel so proud of them

2007-09-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

I swear i should have blogged earlier, i mean, papers ended yst! (strictly speaking, 2 days ago since its past 12mn) Finally a break from all the torture, but the thought of hitting the books again is torturous enough.

1408 is a stupid stupid stupid movie. I mean, ok, yes you're gonna die and everything, but flooding a hotel room?? That totally marked the start of the failure of this film. And well, not to mention my near death experience after the show...>.<
06S62 is, in my opinion, the most open and sexually, uh....inclined class ever. Somehow, just somehow, every class (or half the class) conversation would drift towards sex, pre-marital sex, kinky sex...........well, you get the idea =P It just really says smth, doesn't it?? And timt is now officially the recognised person who'll marry 1st in the class (or those who were present at KFC), and basically, the first to do everything u're "suppose" to do. hohoho

FOH for JBJ, meeting up with darling, class outing, ogl outing...play hard till wed.

2007-08-31T23:25:00.000+08:00

Fish & Co. at the airport with the class yst to celebrate xinying's birthday. I love that place, discounts for the birthday girl, birthday rap, cards, sparklers and polaroids. And cake smearing which, well, basically ended up in a mess. No one dared to sit around our area, i suppose we're a little rowdy, yes?

Moving on to econs. Yes...its ECONS.

Happy Birthday to xinying and gabby!! Lots of love!

2007-08-29T23:01:00.000+08:00

Alright, taking a break from benzene rings and aq.NaOH (don't ask me whether they react or not), so here i am.

I'm currently very very very (i can't emphasize enough) hooked onto Apologize by Timbaland and Truly Madly Deeply (yes i know its OLD) by Savage Garden. Sorry, but one is just plain emo and rather catchy and the other...memories. I was just telling jason, it'll be really upsetting if i can't find someone who appreciates music (preferably the way i do). In fact, i think those who can't should seriously do smth, all you poor souls. There's so much more in the Arts than DOTA, i swear (wakey wakey!)

Anyway, exams are screwing my hormones and antibodies and whatsoever (ask the bio kids) upside down and yours truly has succumbed to the flu, again. I've welcomed you VERY reluctantly, and hopefully you'll go away asap. Yes??

I loved you with a fire red, now it’s turning blue

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry..

2007-08-25T22:54:00.000+08:00

I'm learning from jason...I am INCOHERENT!!!

1. 2 days to GP. what more can i say???

2. C.Superstar is just one embarrassing episode.

3. If u have a beng face, pls stop making a fool of yourself by thinking that winking = hot. URGHS

4. No one should ever have tuition at tpy Macs.

5. I'm scared for GP

6. I wish some pple (or mayb one person) weren't so...impolite

7. Munchy Donuts!! (JASON!!!!)

8. 3I 3I 3I

9. yoo hoo mugging session, anyone??

10. did i mention i'm scared for GP???

11. I'm falling sick, NOOOOOOOOOOOO

12. when you're scared of tickles, DO NOT attempt to tickle someone

13. the very strange placenta mask is, well, very strange

14. i think i'm moving on pretty fine.

GD LUCK FOR PRELIMS!!!

2007-08-20T21:27:00.000+08:00

Munchy donuts are yummy! My first today with 62. Then it was mugging session at parkway macs with aki, tallie, xy and eugene. There was this weirdo who was speaking freaking loudly on the phone (for almost 2hrs) talking abt either a divorce with his wife, or some business issue which involves a women. If i could hear it through my ear phones (which were blasting music), it says smth about this irritating and, well, irritating weirdo. Words seem to fail me.

Anyway, it is to my great amusement to learn that my maid earns freaking 4000 Euros a month in Norway. I think that's ard S$8000 a month. Seriously, i'm gonna be a maid in the future!!!!!!

Weihan and xl were talking abt this horny horse today during chem lec. It cracked me up like mad and made the freezing LT feel like a sauna room for a moment. I swear these jokes should not be said too often. On a lighter note, xl has crashed his comp multiple times due to him storing porn in his harddisk. I can only say, "why am i not surprised??" (:

2007-08-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

I, for once, missed sch today and sat diligently at McDonald's from 8.30 in the morning doing chemistry all the way to 6.30. OMG. Thank god I had company (rather quiet company, actually).

It makes me wonder, whether silence was there cause there was nothing to be said. How effortless, to fall silent. Sometimes, i really hate the noise and chatter ard (irony??) But then again, i really love company. Silent and comfortable company, a gesture, a smile...always look at the bright side, yeah?

And here i am telling Jing how perfectly normal i am now. Well, an improvement to say the very least. Perhaps i turned away due to fear but now, its placing myself right at the beginning again. Perfectly normal, perfectly natural. I guess thats how it'll go, and its the only way it'll go.

Because i've learnt a lot, both good and bad. Thanks...

ps. And thanks to jason for being half a perfect gentleman yst! <33

pps. Pple applying to australia uni, lets pool our info yeah? Gotta fill in the overseas uni form by this week, remember!!

ppps. I'm so in love with bouncy bouncy smack smack :) :)

2007-08-13T18:55:00.000+08:00

My maid has officially ran away to Norway yst. Strange, she's been ard with us for almost 6yrs. Hmmm, time flies, indeed.

Its amazing how quickly i'm losing interest in things.

2007-08-08T20:13:00.000+08:00

My aim for this long hols thanks to Singapore's uhh...42nd(?) birthday

-practice for pure maths test
-study for chem test, do some practice (hopefully get some non-test topics down)
-finish reading The Oresteia and the Theban Cycle AT LEAST
-refresh microecons and read through essay outlines
-complete econs case study for tutorial next week
-start thinking bout TSD
-catch the fireworks

I have this nasty feeling that i'll only complete the last thing on the list...hmmm.

For once, i find myself not thinking about...things

2007-08-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

Hohoho. for one, my tagboard is finally up! AFTER AGES!! (all thanks to sy) so guys, tag if u've read, thanks a lot! Its not very pretty but i'll make do.

Days are flying past too quickly and i'm losing count. I just rem countless attempts at studying, the mp library and tea, trying to force open locks, almost dying on a potato...yada yada. My notes are piling like mountains on my table. Sigh, i love studying! (oh yes i do)

Lets go catch the fireworks or smth. I think i need a break.
This is a totally random and incoherant post...(and jason, if i'm talking like that, u better plonk urself on ur bed now. haha)

I have this increasing love for choral works, emo music (the likes of Linkin Park and Oasis, i.e mainstream noisy pieces which seems to contain all the angst in the world) and orchestral pieces. Hmmmm.

2007-08-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

I was on this i-wanna-name-my-kid mood moments ago with jason, when he insisted on naming his boys Gabriel Francis Yan and Pierre (budderfry) RAPHAEL Yan. Jason Yan you DO NOT go ard naming ur boy RAPHAEL! P.R.Yan just sounds AWFUL!!

Then again, since i'm on the topic of AWFUL NAMES (u heard tt jason, i found really really bad ones online. Well, like HYACINTH, INNOCENCE, BLANCHARD for example! I swear no one should ever name their kid that. It really sucks to be ur kid if i'm named hyacinth, after the plant u see floating in a pathetic sch pond.

I like the name chantelle, but ever since i found out it means "stony place", i'm having 2nd thought abt it.

2007-08-01T17:36:00.000+08:00

As i go hysterical over the amt of work i have to catch up on for missing 2 days of sch, (i'm darn sure monica is done with electrochem) some other parts of my life are bugging me. I am, for one, terribly annoyed by my sis's new hp which has the MOST AWFUL ringtone and wallpaper EVER cause it makes such a din. It doesn't help that i've been pathetically spending my day in bed doing nth except re-reading harry potter (i shouldn't)and falling asleep reading (attempt to read) demand and supply while listening to Enya. Or the fact that prelims are really really really close (and i mean REALLY) and i'm nearing desperation trying to comprehend chemistry.

I mean, O levels weren't even this stressful and i took f***ing 10subjects then! Wake up 10-credits girl!!! I'm seriously worried bout the prospect of not getting into a Uni. I'll never make it for prelims i swear, but oh i'm in a self deluding yes-i-know-i-can-do-it-so-leave-me-alone mood. Urghs

Not to mention that it really helps now to have FURTHER distractions...

2007-07-31T20:40:00.000+08:00

I am currently hating everything from my pest of a sister to the freaking headache and fever that's pestering me. It makes me wanna swear non stop.

(and you wonder how i have the energy to blog. well i've been switching between deep slumber and barely consciousness for practically the whole of today, if tt should explain anything)

Imagine sitting in for 2.5hrs listening to Cook drone abt the economy.
Well, heartfelt sympathy to all you Econs H3 students.

And yes, add oil H3 Lit, Hist and KI students. GO GO GO!

2007-07-29T20:08:00.000+08:00

CIP today with ling. I should seriously STOP doing CIP cause i have clocked almost 200hrs. I should really really really be studying. SIGH. But well, i went shopping after CIP. hoho.

I LOVE ENYA. I really really do. Her songs are really sleep inducing.

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love lies?
Only time...

2007-07-28T11:46:00.000+08:00

Asian Boys Vol.3 was quite an experience. Well i suppose it got a bit too rah-rah and angsty for me at some points, but i really liked some of the touches here and there, and the fact that i could relate to it even though i'm not gay. Most of the acting was bad (maybe except karen tan who made of for most of the ACTING), and i WISH WISH WISH we could have a colour wheel for TSD too! I mean, to hell with manual gel changes.

I can't decide whether to miss college day or not as the effort spent to get a MC at a decent price (i.e polyclinic) seems to offset whatever benefits missing college day can provide. SIGH.

Turning fantasy into reality...

2007-07-25T21:34:00.000+08:00

MUG MUG MUG. MUG...MUG...MUG!!

for a moment, i wanted to ring u up so badly
then i realise i have no reason to
and it makes me feel so incredibly helpless

2007-07-20T21:23:00.000+08:00

I've actually started studying, including a rather successful session at tpy lib yst and a wonderful tsd lec today. I've learnt smth, which...well, is wonderful. I love Greek theatre! But i just wish Oedi would STOP whining though. I'll stage the scene with Jocasta hanging from the 2nd level of the skene. Uber cool, hang an actor there and the audience would watch her struggle! Pity i can't make Oedi blind his eyes for real on stage. SIGH

Suppt econs quiz tmr. Then hopefully i'll get greek pinned down ASAP over the weekend, and start on electrolysis for chem and micro-econs for, well, econs (duh). Rushing to a dead end. PRELIMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes its easy to doubt how I feel. Rationality is never strong enough.
Adieu. and back to Bacchae (Dionysos is just WRONG)

2007-07-17T19:41:00.000+08:00

Its hard to settle down, after nearly 7weeks practically being absent from sch, and instead walking through the gates, say at 11am, in blacks and give an i'm-from-TSD-smile. I can't believe i'll never get to do that ever again. SIGH.

Sch is horribly disturbing, as can be seen from the almost filled library practically everytime i walk past it. Mugging is on full throttle, which means i better better start ASAP or risk, well, flunking As. Surprisingly, i passed maths on the dot, while chem remains a joke. I can't wait to get back GP.

For the past 2 days, i've been witnessing different degrees of physical intimacy around my neighbourhood. First there was this couple making strange sounds at the void deck of my block (mind you i stay on the 2nd floor), with the girl practically humping the guy in broad daylight. Then, today, there was this couple sitting at the playground (in broad daylight as well) with the guy's leg crossing right over the girl's and he started nuzzling her somewhere ard the boobs area. I mean, for god's sake, there where CHILDREN at the playground! Why on earth are we debating bout Section 377A when live pornography is so publicly displayed! Honestly, just GET A ROOM! (i'm still disturbed)

Anyway, watched HP with steph mel today. It was like, Star Wars on a smaller scale and rather strange. But yeah, D.R is getting more and more ugly, Ron (i can't rem the actor's name) has always been ugly to start with, and E.W is getting hotter (though i swear she is experiencing premature aging).

Final FOH tmr, and loads of Greek readings. I CAN'T WAIT.

2007-07-14T21:43:00.000+08:00

Met up with the 4G pple today. Its a great feeling, catching up with friends and trading news bout the latest scandals and affairs etc. I miss o-ay, all the time we had together. I love you all!!

Talked a lot to jing and elaine today as we went "shopping". Then to jing again, when we visited jane mumu jason doing FOH at nat lib. Then to how i finally managed to clear my 2nd batch of cupcakes. like YAY! Its too sweet, but i'll improve it. (oh yes i will) Jing we have to meet up soon, then i'll go to ur house and we'll have a "training session" :) soon i'll be able to MAINTAIN!!

I dread gg back for lessons. Sigh. And i dread my screwed up life. And now i know when to keep my mouth SHUT. Oh yes.

I never realised that it was Friday the 13th yst. But i was doing FOH for the Asian Boys Gala Night and its so FUNNY, watching the gay community unite as one. Its really an eye opener, oh yes it was. And then followed by almost 3hrs on the phone, which kinda caused my brain to become highly saturated with info and slow in processing. I hope i sounded sane, cause i think i wasn't...sigh.

I have to finish reading 'In the Company of the Courtesan'. Its really taking me AGES.

2007-07-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

I can't believe (in fact i doubt i want to) that TSD is officially over for me. No more slots, no more fiddling with my set, no more crazy grp slots, no more late nights........though i'm sure the bitching would continue, and the complaints and whines and much much more that made this course (more of pple) so endearing. I'm feeling nostalgic!! I mean...1.5yrs of shit work and 60% is now OVER. I'm so glad that we have turned out the way we are, much much bonded and bitchy and sharing all the tears and laughter. I love TSD 06-07!! Best bitch friends, darlings and jiemeis :)

F***ing Sakae Sushi is SUCH A CHEAT!!! how could a freaking buffet cause 25 bucks! Like arghs! And followed by chit chat along some random sidewalk near clarke quay, much much bitching, and occasional screams. I love just sitting there, zoning out and hearing random snippets of conversation here and there.

It just so happens that my mind rules over my heart. Though ultimately i believe, its my heart that rules my mind...I hate not being able to be there for someone when they need me, and vice versa.

A busy week ahead with FOH, Sis's bday and 4G gathering. Mummy's gonna skin me alive.

2007-07-09T22:52:00.000+08:00

WOO HOO!! 60% of TSD finally finally over!! I can start dancing! Well, i don't really wanna think abt results now cause i doubt it'll turn out well, but i shan't go on, shall i?

It was really funny, watching zhuang yuan get tipsy upon one bottle cap of 17% strawberry vodka and cream. i stress the ONE bottle cap. She's such a darling! haha! Someone was rather worried though. =P

Watched Transformers today with matt mumu and jon. I swear its a really really strange movie. Great if u love sci-fi. Otherwise, be like me, who is now totally drained after the 2plus hrs long movie. The line thats imprinted in my mind? "I AM MEGATRON! ~RAWR~" Bumblebee is such an emotional...robot

What i wanna do, is to get drunk one day, and go to the beach for catharsis treatment. Sorry matt, hope i didn't scare you today. Anyway, i still stand by my pm. "ALL GUYS SHOULD JUST CHUCK THEIR HEADS INTO THE BIN"

Its been over 8 mths. I just want everything to stop.

2007-07-07T17:45:00.000+08:00

There's a limit to how f***ed up my life can be.

You know what? I think i'm close to it...

I love my personal msg. It spells TRUTH.

2007-07-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

I can't believe that grps is over...just like that. It's a feeling close to being surreal. Just at the beginning of this yr we were still trying to FIND a piece, what with animalistic themes, totalitarian state, education...and finally to WOMEN AND THEIR UNNECESSARY OBSESSIONS WITH PHYSICAL PERFECTION. (that sentence is firmly planted in my mind) And suddenly, its over, and TITBITS '07 is now officially down in TSD history.

Thanks to my darling group members, every single one of you: Claire, Li Jia, Kyna, Mel, Hui Ying. I love you all so much TITS!
Thanks TITies (crew): Meiching, Taariq, Jonathan, Ethel, Kelly for all the hard work. It was the best run we've ever had.
Thanks to the other grps: Cowboys, Balls, NOTME, Victorian Secret. Break legs darlings!
Thanks to everyone who rem that i'm having my exams. I appreciate all e encouragement and well wishes :) thank you guys.

I sincerely hoped that Pym liked our piece...darn. He probably didn't. But well, its OVER.

And now, to I/S.

"I'll see you all individually then, very soon" --Mr Pym

Great. I'm dying to see u 8am on Monday :)

2007-06-30T20:42:00.000+08:00

i have only 1 thing to say:

Clooney is SO HOT!

thanks darling for watching it with me today :) (though u've watched it before) Sorry for going ga ga over George's gaze throughout the movie (brad pitt really isn't that gd looking, u know), but he is too hot to handle. hahahaha! oh, and let's go to Muse someday. and shopping.

back to reality. yes its barely 5days to As. sadly.

2007-06-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

i hate singapore cabs cause i can never hail one on rainy friday nights.
i hate bitchy bus drivers who refuse to stop even when i'm running like crazy to e bus stop. (and its raining for god's sake! don't you have compassion??!!)
i hate slotting for TSD cause i get oh-so-tired.
i hate my set which refuses to stand the way i want it to.
i hate pple who blast music and make out in their cars thinking tt no one can spot them cause its DARK.
i hate not catching Oceans 13 cause i wanna see george.
i hate how pple are increasingly aware of u-know-who.
i hate how pple refuse to reply my msgs asap and tt gets me really really pissed (it might be life threatening for all you know!!!)
i hate how tt thing might come ard my pracs and i'll be wearing a white costume and doing crunches like crazy. URGHS!
i hate not being myself and being increasingly uptight bout stuff i shouldn't be uptight abt.
i hate grp conflicts/ cohort conflicts/ senior jr conflicts

Oh, btw

i love xiao pang. (which is lj's rabbit in case u didn't know)
and i love Peach Milk Tea with jelly, no pearls :)

and that sums up my day, thank you very much.

2007-06-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

I was just thinking how absurd it was, to take the papers a week earlier, and have pple literally "attracted" to you by the magnetic pull of leaking the questions. Suddenly, the whole world seems to be your best friend.

I am STILL dying to watch Oceans 13.

And have i mentioned how i hate it when, somehow, my secrets leak out? Its embarrassing, and gets me all jittery. And i suspect it'll soon send me into a state of denial, and perhaps finally force me to let go. So conclusion? To hell with secrets.

I hate it. I really do.
Besides, i think its time to forget all abt it.

2007-06-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

Summary of what happened for the past few days:

Groups. Jane's party (have i mentioned that??) Groups again. Visit Mel. Shopping. TPY. Groups. Beijing Ren. Groups.

Showing today was bad, beyond bad, and well...BAD. freak...i wish pple would stop saying "At least your group has a piece" although i know i know i know that some of you are more screwed up (i swear i know) Just that, it gets on my nerves oh so easily...ok nvm, moving on

WTF DOES IT MEAN BY "DESIGNERS SHOWING ON MONDAY"???!!!!! F***!! excuse me all i have of my set now is the bloody box which i've constructed barely 10mins ago thank you very much...

Thanks Pop. and darn i still wanna watch Ocean's 13

2007-06-20T20:37:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Jane!

Too tired to think any further. Too lazy to elaborate. Too difficult to explain.

Conflicts rise, problems set in, but there never is a proper solution. Well, unless its Maths...

I hate how incredibly stupid pple have caused me to be. Or perhaps its just that i am??

2007-06-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

Gave Jonny joel today. I'm glad u like it dear!!

Finally, CTs are over. I doubt i'll care abt it anymore. yup. which is gd.

Dear mel, i love you loads. Love you love you loads:)

I know that i should get over it, but its just so difficult...

2007-06-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

Someday, we'll have to row sampans out onto the streets of Singapore cause the rain would have flooded everything. And all this is due to global warming. So shut up, developed countries (plus some other developing ones), and start cleaning up.

Sinfonia Eroica was, well, as the name suggests, erotic. Perhaps it was precisely the fact that i couldn't understand it, which made it so beautiful. I love the water, the fresnels, the hot booby woman, the hot flabby guy.........amazing stuff

Its interesting, thinking of the personnels i'll meet doing FOH for Asian Boys. Btw, in case u didn't know, its a play with loads of hot gay boys :)

I really should finish my maths, but probability is so...nuah

It was the first time i've seen someone so happy photocopying notes the thickness of an encylopedia. I guess that will never fail to make me laugh.

2007-06-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

Finally, GP Econs and Chem are over. I can only say...darn. Perhaps the most straightforward paper was Econs. Shan't divulge too much, but oh oh, Chem MCQ is UNDOABLE. I can't stress it enough. ITS HORRIBLY HORRIBLY DIFFICULT. And trust me, i answered the last few questions circling A-B-C-D (in sequence) without even reading them.

I know i should NOT be procrastinating, but the weekend is just luring me to stop work tonight. In fact, i think i am/shall/will. The only comfort i have would probably be the fact that i did inequalities and integration today.

Kovan Macs is a really bad place to study. (Ah-Beng Ville) But time was well spent :)

2007-06-12T12:53:00.000+08:00

For the first time, i'm sitting diligently at my table plowing through my chem 10yr series, attempting to pass my chem tests, which i succeeded in failing ever since last yr. Though a nasty feeling tells me that i'm still gonna fail...oh well...

Rocka by baby...nightmares. A successful "operation 2am", and my last day for chemistry

Helloo econs, i'll be seeing you tmr

2007-06-11T19:35:00.000+08:00

Life has been surprisingly uneventful (well actually, not so) i.e BORING.

Darling, whatever it is, i'll always be here yeah? Don't fret so much over tt bugger!!(oops) (:

I've come to realise how impt it is not to trust pple easily. At least, if you don't wanna get hurt.

It surprises me, how firmly i can stand by my own stupid (and i mean really stupid) decisions. Till now, it still does.

Get well Jason Yan!!! You don't wanna be sick for CT2s!! :)

2007-06-05T20:16:00.000+08:00

finally back. after wearing contacts for 30hrs non stop,i'm pretty sure my degree has deepened by a considerable amt.

oh well. chalet yst was at the most ulufied place i've ever been to. ever tried having a whole platoon of SAF commandos running past u while u're walking alone on a deserted road? i swear its most intimidating. anyway, probably the most fun event that has happened was gg to changi village to witness well, transexual hookers getting business at the streets. they are really pretty :) talked to mf emma for quite somewhile while the boys swam, played the most hilarious loyang bridge/ poker/ blackjack with yvonne jg ben (i swear the two boys are crazy), getting hooch from cheers and being caught (almost) by the bitchy cheers auntie, watching the two crazy boys get 'drunk' on green tea...........i guess i'll still miss times like these, though at one pt i was VERY tempted to take out my econs notes and start studying.

then interview wkshop today. rather interesting and informative with a very nice instructor. but well, i was too tired to be attentive and started drifting off in the afternoon. i swear eric (jr) could just fall asleep on e spot. alright i'm gonna go for interviews with random companies someday, and turn them down if i get the post. haha. practice makes perfect :)

i'll never forget e sausage eating competition (which was SO SICK), and the talk bout how desperate army boys book out of camp on weekends just to spend nights with their gfs at geylang's hotel room, the condom vending machine, and my futile attempts at trying to put the ball into the basketball 'hoop'.

and now its back to CT2s

I'll miss everything we had when we say gdbye...

2007-06-03T20:44:00.000+08:00

bavarian radio chorus concert with matt and ling yst. i shall NOT mention how funny it was, i mean, ling came with loads of korean won (and ONLY korean won). ahahahaha. alright the concert wasn't fabulous. but it was alright. matt didn't cry!!! :) (i thought he would cause it was all chorale biblical works, but that aside)

CIP today with ling (ling i'm gonna get sick of seeing u ard). Ahh well...

"Hi, would you like to make a donation? We're collecting for HFH"

Reward?? --> tired feet, and a fruitless shopping trip.

Dar, i'm glad u have finally thought through everything! now let's march on to a brighter future! hahaha :)

Harmoc chalet and interview wkshop tmr. Did i forget to mention studying???

2007-05-30T22:22:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, you can't help but appreciate having just this one friend, just one, who will listen and share and laugh and cry and whine with you. Sometimes, you may even forget this person, but at times when you're truly helpless, you always turn to him/her.

Hey darling, i'm glad you found your 'love of ur life' :) Its never easy, but i can tell you two are like happy happy lovebirds who will stick for a long long time. Well sometimes i can't help but think that what you say is true, but then again, its all part of me, and i'm sure you'll understand. Its never simple, and as much as i don't like it, i've chose to live with it. Its all part of a price to pay. Someday i hope all these people would truly see me for what i am, and stop all the slandering business. Excuse me, though i don't particularly flare up or mind or start disliking you, that doesn't mean what you said is true and you can go ard spreading all these nasty comments bout me. So SHUT UP! To say the truth, society is not liberal enough (this i've heard from a friend long time ago).

I hate being treated like i'm entertainment when you're bored. I hate being so willing. I hate myself for not stopping all these nonsense. Everything i hate but just not you. urghs!! I really hate myself you know that???

Anyway darling, i love you so!!!!! I really really really do.

There's just that much love, and it has all gone out to you. But you'll never know, would you??

2007-05-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

I thank Singapore, for making all boutiques go on sale.

I thank mummy for paying.

I thank myself, cause i've made myself feel better.

Girls (and guys included of course), GO SHOPPING!!

I swear its therapeutic.

At least, till you see the bill :)

2007-05-26T10:55:00.000+08:00

Went out with the class yst. Hmm. Pirates was quite quite interesting, with wondrous effects and really funny parts. Tallie has officially been influenced by me and started doing the "wtf" handsign during the movie, hahahaha. After that was lunch at KFC and window shopping with xl lk and xy. I so wanna get that Esprit top but i know my heart will ache if i get it.

Soccer girls' finals at Jln Besar. A painful experience, how they lost the championships to SAJC. Well...the goal was really...really really...inevitable, given our defence. In fact, if it was a VJC player in the exact same situation, i can imagine the uproar if she didn't score. Its just impossible not to.

Back to sch with jane for e band concert. It was rather good, especially flight of the bumblebee by Matt and Sidney, which was totally impressive *10^23. (i fear i cannot emphasize it more) And the 3rd movt from the 3rd symphony was wonderful too:)

Anyway, it seems that i've come to know two very different characters but linked in a strange fashion. What can i say, but through the similarities, i can see the hatred and where it lies. To know ur choice, but choose to live with it and accept the consequences is not that easy. Afterall, who would openly admit their choices? I dun really know what to say anymore.

2007-05-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

To be on anti depressants is simply life taking me a little too far.

YOU'RE TESTING MY PATIENCE AND RESISTANCE, F*** YOU.

and of course, soccer boys won 3rd and hockey girls 1st. what a memorable scene which got my temper rising, vjc no.10's shorts being grabbed by some SA fellow...bloody underhand.

I know what i'm doing. And no, i DO NOT get pregnant/HIV just by talking to him (although i get ur point guys), thank you very much.

The last thing i need is someone creeping into my thoughts...

Who knows? On the brink of breaking down?

I've never felt so...alone

2007-05-22T14:29:00.000+08:00

ahh...the feeling of nostalgia...

VJHB 06-07 has officially stepped down yst. It was a rather surreal affair, watching them hand over certificates and positions, talk about formality...Then again, it was funny watching zz wj act tipsy after drinking tt little bit of alcohol, like trying to force white grape cider down the girls' throats?? Haha. The scandals flying ard were just amusing,simply amusing.

Come to think of it, even if we're stepping down, loads of stuff are still gg on. The CIP performance, the KL trip.......perhaps we're never really gonna say gdbye afterall. Thinking of everyone i've met, everything we've gone through...be it as a group, as an individual.........

**********
Sometimes i wished i've never got to know the both of you, cause it hurts so much now, now i know that i can never tell the truth.

2007-05-20T12:51:00.000+08:00

RESONANCE is over!

I have no idea where to start. Well, to be honest, i wasn't present for much of the practices with everything that was gg on. In fact, i thought my attitude was horrible, and i'm horribly sorry cause mf was so stressed.

Then again, i'm glad that despite the band being, frankly speaking, awful two weeks prior to concert, everything turned out fine yesterday night. Personally, i screwed up my bass guitar for the last few songs. But i'm glad that all the noise covered for everything. Now, i'm glad i tried out playing the bass guitar! Haha, its been a rather fun experience.

To my dear entertainers, thanks for putting up such a great performance! With all the suspenders and specs and moustaches, its been a very fun time with u all. Ahh...i apologise for me blowing up at times, though i know i shouldn't have. But then again, i'll rem practices at ks's house, wj and his sick sick sick jokes, the trademark crazy laughter, the chord which looks like a bat, zz and his bass.........*nostalgic*

WCS, u guys have made the past 1.5 yrs a memorable one. No idea how to put it. I'll hate to say gdbye. So pls, lets not. (I hate sounding so mushy and attached and totally losing myself) Although the guys have always treated me as a guy...(i shall not complain, right?), and so much has happened between the few of us, i'll rem all the good and the bad, the laughter and tears. Ag, yx, sy, zz, ys, ks...i love you all. All of you.

Thank you PA crew, char and mansoor our darling emcees, calista(pianist), matthew (no.1drummer!), clayton (double bass. thanks for tuning my guitar) for making May 19th 2007 possible. Thank you backstage crew (esp gabriel)for all the hard work. Thanks matt mumu jason jon steph mel ling jane xl eugene timt ter and all others who came!!!!! LOVE YA ALL!!

I LOVE VJHB 06-07! WE ROCKED AND BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE!!!

Entertainers in full costume:)

Entertainers again:)

2007-05-18T23:17:00.000+08:00

i'm in a nervous state now, unable to construct my sentences and deleting the previous words at least 10 times.

ok. resonance is tmr. i am officially in a state of nerves and there's this funny clenching feeling in my stomache which i can't describe for nuts. see how words fail me at this instant?????!!!!!!! yes tmr shall be my last official day in VJHB. and strange enough i'll be playing like the bass guitar for almost all e combined songs. arghs. why do i just have e feeling that i'm gonna screw it upside down?!!!!!! guys pls pls pls pls pls pls pls dun laugh at me k. pls don't. ARGHS. i'm gg crazy

and there's slots tmr morning with jason. ARGHS. ok i will survive. btw, huge improvements by guitar ensemble this concert! yay! congrats pple!!!

and i love my group. so yay! GO TITBITS!!!

2007-05-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

the week is just starting. i shall aim to remain positive with chem test, artery handover, concert rehearsals, guitar and choir concerts and resonance, AND TSD.

and i'm smelling of primroses and chamomiles and passion fruit now thanks to my new shower stuff. i should be a flower

2007-05-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

Absolutely drained, physically. But i've gained quite a few insights from reading Tuesday with Morrie. Made me cry throughout the book, such embarrassement it was on the bus. I can't pinpoint what exactly happened. Just that, by the end of it all...

I'm too tired to do anything now. I think i'll go to bed

2007-05-07T21:57:00.000+08:00

Bad day. And i can't find a reason. Perhaps its all because of that

"No more tricks, no more lies, only truth"

When will that day come, when lies cease forever?

---enough said---

2007-05-04T23:05:00.000+08:00

Its been a haphazard week, with too much stuff gg on within too little days (strange enough, i was absent 2/5 of the week)

Class photo taking today was rather hilarious, although i swear i looked horrible in the photos, but oh well. Spidey man was rather...strange. The effects were rather gd, but it got a little dry. Hmmm. Not to mention that Toby Mcguire is so NOT hot (even Henry is hotter--he kind of made me cry towards the end) Yeah, rather pathetic "class" outing with only xl alexi timt and i, but i got to meet sister!! Met steph mel and nana after that for the 3 sisters, which is very very impressive in terms of movt, although I couldn't understand a single thing they were doing/saying (its in Japanese). But,well,half of the choreograph was filled with erotic suggestive actions and unmistakably, orgasms. I've never read the play before. Is The 3 Sisters supposed to be like that??? Rather odd, but hilarious.

Oh oh oh, and my bloody 2.4km run today. I passed! And mel tt crazy girl ran twice, the 2nd time with the boys. GO MEL!! BEAT THEM BOYS HANDS (FEET) DOWN!!!!!

Its the season of love in the air.

2007-05-02T20:44:00.000+08:00

Two souls whom I thought would stay as one commented on the absurdity of keeping an online diary. Now, both of them are posting, two individuals.

A friend I thought whom i could trust and share told me nothing between us should change. Then, i knew that everything will change, cause time does not wait for you, just like people.

And then I thought time could wash everything away, but it so happens that everytime, just when i'm about to let go and forget, it all just comes rushing back again. A curse. Bittersweet. Painful.

Then i remember what someone told me, "blinded by love? been there, done that, and realised it never lasts". Is that so? Perhaps it didn't last for both, but not even for one?

Is this angst?

2007-04-30T23:38:00.000+08:00

I was looking through yx's blog, and this test popped out with the following results:

"At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).

You enjoy taking part in anything that may constitute fun and excitement. You need to be stimulated and need to feel that 'Life is worth living' and you are awaiting that stimulation and you don't particularly care where it comes from!

There are times of everyone's life when 'compromise' is the name of the game and this is the time, so you have no alternative but to forgo some pleasures for the time being. You are capable of achieving satisfaction through physical activity.

Recently everything seems to have gone wrong and so you are experiencing considerable stress and anxiety due to mental conflict. A continuous case of 'Should I?' or 'Shouldn't I?'. At this particular moment in time you feel as if you have reached the end of your tether and it seems impossible to ever rectify the situation and so you have decided, perhaps quite unrealistically, to postpone making any further decisions. Disappointment and unfulfilled hopes have given rise to despondency. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decision, you are likely to immerse yourself in the pursuit of trivialities as an escape route.

The tensions and stresses that you have experienced of late have been the result of trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond your capabilities. You feel completely inadequate to cope with the situation and you would like nothing better to escape from it all and to be able to relax in a problem and pressure free environment where you can do your thing."

How true.

2007-04-30T21:41:00.000+08:00

After being called cleopatra, fann wong, angela chang, squirrel, bird AND poodle, i'm beginning to regret my haircut. I mean, i'm human!

2007-04-28T16:54:00.000+08:00

Drama night ended. PHEW! well, makeup was pretty fun. Thanks to all the faces which i drew on :)

anyway, coconut babe u rock!!

2007-04-25T20:14:00.000+08:00

We're in for Resonance. Yay! Which also means more hardwork, practice, time spent. And with 'A' levels drawing near...oh well, WORK HARD!!!!!!

I love rain. I hate getting wet. I miss the times we've spent together darling, cheer up! And call me :)

2007-04-24T22:56:00.000+08:00

I'm sick and tired of watching the world go by

and i hate it when i'm sick

and i have a craving for seafood

damn

*incoherent post*

2007-04-22T22:05:00.000+08:00

So i was just gg through my mag a couple of mins ago, and this vibrator (yes) called Yva Gold which is 18K gold-plated and costs 2,499 bucks popped out. SAVE ME SOMEONE. and there's another one called The Mini Tongue, which i don't even wanna start on the description. think "comes with a vibrating bullet"..............

on a happier note, Jason, you're famous after CO night!!!!

and steph, no i'm not kinky!! >.<

2007-04-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

Too much stuff have been happening and life is zooming past like a bullet train. Can't seem to keep track of all that's happened, and sometimes, it just amazes me.

SYF practices have been multiplying at 10^23, and the adrenaline has been draining off. Well, i'm pretty sure it is too for other pple, but we have such a desire to win. I mean, strings just got GOH!!! Call it pressure! I can't wait for SYF to be over and for my life to get back to normal.

Phantom was AWESOME!!!! I swear all human beings should watch it! It was worth the full $150 bucks i spent. I mean, acting was nuah, but the set, costume, and songs were great!! Ahhh!! I so wanna watch it again. And yeah, it was B&J free cone day, so steph, mel, zach, grace(who din have one) and i went down to raffles for ice cream! Dinner was memorable, with steph experimenting with pasta sauce. Hmm.

TSD I/S, Groups, everything. Let's just say, hope we pull through it. I'm too tired to do anymore explanation. Music Fest was great!!! I love the korean song guy and the indian boys. And camels! OMG OMG OMG!! (yes u guys know i'm gg all ga-ga again)

To dear mel, 3rd for cross nationals and always so sweet, I love you many many!!! Don't give up girl, you have all of us with you!!

And, though i knew it would happen, i've just realised that, a relationship has caused me to lose a friend. Truly lost a friend. What a pity, that friends are never forever. Thought i should get used to it, more than i had before...

I'm starting to think I'm living like a robot

2007-04-09T21:51:00.000+08:00

I simply can't wait for Phantom. Its probably one of the events that's, well, supporting me now. hmm. SYF coming soon, followed by Resonance and TSD pracs. oh, and maths...urghs

Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head
with talk of summertime . . .

Say you need me with you,
now and always . . .
promise me that all
you say is true -
that's all I ask
of you . . .

2007-04-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

I can't decide what to do. Its just so painful, and it makes me feel utterly helpless. Times like that, I just wish I could cry.

I'm trying to start on my CC, succeeding in producing a cover page for my...contentless body. Urghs.

On a happier note, Buddha's Delight(mv) is utterly wrong but hilarious. Its just SO WRONG!!! Help me!!!

2007-04-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

I just wish some people would just lay it off my back. Get a grip! What benefits do you get just by making my life difficult?! Allow me some time to BREATHE or i'll stop smiling very soon, heck all you mindless and idiotic young/old fools.

And heck, I am trying to comprehend my econs and maths and chem and whatnot, I swear i'm trying! So stop accusing me of missing remedials and lessons REPEATEDLY cause I don't!! DAMN!!

I've recently found 2 bloggers who blog in a similar style. I.E--> 3rd person POV. So, well, Tanying shall go off now to complete her MacLaurin's tutorial and study Hydroxy Compounds. Please do excuse her. Thank you very much.

adieu.

2007-03-31T22:10:00.000+08:00

So i was, for some strange reason, watching Protege just now, and this totally disturbing sexual scene appeared, accompanied by the most painful sounding o****m ever. I swear, its just SO BIZZARE!

Watch Protege, and watch the reproduction level fall...

2007-03-30T22:57:00.000+08:00

"Hey my name is shane and i'm here to campaign..."

Sorry, but that's probably the only thing i can rem abt today's by-elections talk. Get over him bitchy jie mei, he's like a yr younger! LOL. No angels, please.

Anyway, Sports Day today was hilarious but absolutely boring at the same time. Wonder how that's possible. I mean, you don't really get opportunities seeing a bear fondling himself. It's just...weird?? Oh and cheerleading was horrible, not that i can do better, but it just pale in comparison to those i've seen in St Nicks. Oh well.

And yay i'm going for SMUN with jon. Jon u better have a gd idea of what we're suppose/gonna do, cause your partner is CLUELESS. Thank you very much :)

"Hey my name is shane and i'm here to campaign..."

2007-03-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

A.I.R is finally over. And i can breathe again. Thanks everyone who had helped, love ya all. Anyway, the bellydancer is really hot! Ok, random piece of info.

I shall graciously forgive all pon-ners cause, well, i can't force u guys to come anyway. Then again, damn u people. Talk about being torn into half...

K experience today with jon and matt was freaking funny. I'll never ever forget matt's face when we cornered him and started crooning love songs, yeah matt? Hahahaha! One day, i swear, jon will lose his voice.

2007-03-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

AIR is tmr and yes, i'm worried that pple might not come. Damn all u fellows who are ponning tmr, u guys are condemned to the everlasting torture of hell. Mark my words.

Anyway, SPA is finally over, so tts a load off. Ok, not exactly with I/S chasing right behind...ahhh...i can't say how screwed i am for I/S. And i mean REALLY SCREWED. But nvm, worry bout tt after tmr yeah?

From what i've heard today, when mel mentioned she wanted an innocent looking model like me (yes me pple, u guys did NOT see it wrongly), Lofty kind of gave an indignant and astonished look and stamped his foot down firmly saying that I DO NOT LOOK INNOCENT, thank you very much. In fact, upon further questioning, he said i look "potentially difficult". So yeah, guess i'm gonna be some delinquent from now on.

Someone pls tell me i'm not what Lofty said i am...

2007-03-25T21:28:00.000+08:00

exchange programme for harmoc today. what can i say, we're freaking screwed! like the lousiest of the lousiest? dear me. gotta prac prac prac!!

and oh yeah, tmr's chem SPA. damn. wish me luck

2007-03-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

cages was, well, pretty fine for a local film. made me cry quite a bit (and mel burst into tears?) but yeah liz is such a cute little bitch. love her vocals, its really nice.

and i can't help but wonder why pple are becoming such irritating a***s. damn the world.

2007-03-21T21:52:00.000+08:00

I would love to sit at the breakwater, listen to the waves, and whine about how horrible life is. The thing is, I don't even have time for the beach now.

Checklist:

Arts Day
TSD showing
SYF
CC due
TSD public showing
Resonance
Common Tests
A level pracs
Public P?
Prelims
A levels

well. off to the Theory of Income and Employment Determination, smth i can't and never will understand. damn

2007-03-18T21:18:00.000+08:00

tmr's e start of a new term. i aim to

1. finish my I/S asap, like really ASAP
2. go on a diet. yes, i will i will

and 3, yes, 3. BE AN A STAR MATHS+ECONS+CHEM+TSD STUDENT

i'm so gonna do it. yes i will

2007-03-14T21:48:00.000+08:00

hello my beloved little island in the middle of some ocean, i.e SINGAPORE!! yes, so i'm sitting in front of my nice woody comp table blogging abt, well, how i miss my comp! yup, considering how conkers my grandpapa's laptop was

i vow never to take a plane which touches down so late (early). almost took my life. ok, but i'm really touched the 4...uhhh...jie mei of mine came to the airport. pleasant surprise. thanks mumu matt jon jason!! love ya!!

i'm so tired. but i so wanna finish watching all the shows i bought. grrr

2007-03-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

unbelievably, im currently blogging from my grandpapa's laptop from hk. ahahaha

the past 2 days have, well, been pretty constructive...shopping non stop. ahh, it just feels great. haha

alright, off to watch death note 2 which i never managed to catch in cinemas!!

2007-03-09T06:00:00.000+08:00

its 6am in the morning and i'm blogging from the free internet comp in T1. oh well, just for the fun of it, i guess

2007-03-08T20:56:00.000+08:00

i've came to the conclusion tt, well, i don't really care bout common tests. so well, flunk them for all i care. they can just go to hell. and die forever

flight is at 630am tmr, waking up at 4am. ahhh...some price to pay to be in HK. righto. nights everyone!!

and all e best lit and physics pple. one more day and you'll be as happy as me.

2007-03-04T22:15:00.000+08:00

ahh...where should i begin

Macbeth was rather interesting, with a really hot girl and rather gd-looking-but-can't-act Duncan. and an ugly-but-is-an-acting-god/goddess Lady Macbeth. hmm

so i got a ring at perlini's silver. annual sale. hmm. i so wanna go shopping!

went mugging with mumu and jonny today.haha. i would say productivity was alright today. i managed to finish most of my chem, which is quite quite an accomplishment i would say.

and on to vol of revolution...here i come!!!

2007-03-01T19:08:00.000+08:00

sometimes, life gets a little unpredictable
sometimes, pple get a little insensitive
and sometimes, things should just stop moving

i'll miss you solo girl

and for the others, we just gotta move on. don't we?

...common tests are really pointless, mundane, hateful things. they're just such a pain in the neck.

i'm gonna pass with flying colours......without studying

2007-02-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

i'm, well, relatively relieved that I/S is finally over. although i kinda screwed up my presentation big time, ok maybe little time. the point remains, its still screwed. but hopefully not too badly

chem SPA tmr, horrors. *inside news says that its the stupid wick thing. hmm*

ok, i'll blog a more constructive entry someday, off i go to study for SPA

p.s have i mentioned how a Superiorly Pointless Activity SPA is???
p.p.s for those whose I/S remains, break legs, love ya all

2007-02-24T23:07:00.000+08:00

the past 2 (or is it 3?) days have been spent supergluing my fingers together and camping in the costume room which by the end of the 1st day, had became a slum/pig sty/rubbish dump/ boaster coagulating area. what more can i say, i'm just so glad i'm almost 80% done with construction. as for cc and annex, i'll rush out the sketches and music tmr and on mon yeah?

my life is totally revolving TSD. and i mean it when i say it does, cause IT REALLY DOES!!!! arghs

i really wish i could stop myself, stop all this, cause somehow, somewhere, it hurts