Sometimes, you can't help but appreciate having just this one friend, just one, who will listen and share and laugh and cry and whine with you. Sometimes, you may even forget this person, but at times when you're truly helpless, you always turn to him/her.

Hey darling, i'm glad you found your 'love of ur life' :) Its never easy, but i can tell you two are like happy happy lovebirds who will stick for a long long time. Well sometimes i can't help but think that what you say is true, but then again, its all part of me, and i'm sure you'll understand. Its never simple, and as much as i don't like it, i've chose to live with it. Its all part of a price to pay. Someday i hope all these people would truly see me for what i am, and stop all the slandering business. Excuse me, though i don't particularly flare up or mind or start disliking you, that doesn't mean what you said is true and you can go ard spreading all these nasty comments bout me. So SHUT UP! To say the truth, society is not liberal enough (this i've heard from a friend long time ago).

I hate being treated like i'm entertainment when you're bored. I hate being so willing. I hate myself for not stopping all these nonsense. Everything i hate but just not you. urghs!! I really hate myself you know that???

Anyway darling, i love you so!!!!! I really really really do.

There's just that much love, and it has all gone out to you. But you'll never know, would you??

I thank Singapore, for making all boutiques go on sale.

I thank mummy for paying.

I thank myself, cause i've made myself feel better.

Girls (and guys included of course), GO SHOPPING!!

I swear its therapeutic.

At least, till you see the bill :)

Went out with the class yst. Hmm. Pirates was quite quite interesting, with wondrous effects and really funny parts. Tallie has officially been influenced by me and started doing the "wtf" handsign during the movie, hahahaha. After that was lunch at KFC and window shopping with xl lk and xy. I so wanna get that Esprit top but i know my heart will ache if i get it.

Soccer girls' finals at Jln Besar. A painful experience, how they lost the championships to SAJC. Well...the goal was really...really really...inevitable, given our defence. In fact, if it was a VJC player in the exact same situation, i can imagine the uproar if she didn't score. Its just impossible not to.

Back to sch with jane for e band concert. It was rather good, especially flight of the bumblebee by Matt and Sidney, which was totally impressive *10^23. (i fear i cannot emphasize it more) And the 3rd movt from the 3rd symphony was wonderful too:)

Anyway, it seems that i've come to know two very different characters but linked in a strange fashion. What can i say, but through the similarities, i can see the hatred and where it lies. To know ur choice, but choose to live with it and accept the consequences is not that easy. Afterall, who would openly admit their choices? I dun really know what to say anymore.

To be on anti depressants is simply life taking me a little too far.

YOU'RE TESTING MY PATIENCE AND RESISTANCE, F*** YOU.

and of course, soccer boys won 3rd and hockey girls 1st. what a memorable scene which got my temper rising, vjc no.10's shorts being grabbed by some SA fellow...bloody underhand.

I know what i'm doing. And no, i DO NOT get pregnant/HIV just by talking to him (although i get ur point guys), thank you very much.

The last thing i need is someone creeping into my thoughts...

Who knows? On the brink of breaking down?

I've never felt so...alone

ahh...the feeling of nostalgia...

VJHB 06-07 has officially stepped down yst. It was a rather surreal affair, watching them hand over certificates and positions, talk about formality...Then again, it was funny watching zz wj act tipsy after drinking tt little bit of alcohol, like trying to force white grape cider down the girls' throats?? Haha. The scandals flying ard were just amusing,simply amusing.

Come to think of it, even if we're stepping down, loads of stuff are still gg on. The CIP performance, the KL trip.......perhaps we're never really gonna say gdbye afterall. Thinking of everyone i've met, everything we've gone through...be it as a group, as an individual.........

**********
Sometimes i wished i've never got to know the both of you, cause it hurts so much now, now i know that i can never tell the truth.

RESONANCE is over!

I have no idea where to start. Well, to be honest, i wasn't present for much of the practices with everything that was gg on. In fact, i thought my attitude was horrible, and i'm horribly sorry cause mf was so stressed.

Then again, i'm glad that despite the band being, frankly speaking, awful two weeks prior to concert, everything turned out fine yesterday night. Personally, i screwed up my bass guitar for the last few songs. But i'm glad that all the noise covered for everything. Now, i'm glad i tried out playing the bass guitar! Haha, its been a rather fun experience.

To my dear entertainers, thanks for putting up such a great performance! With all the suspenders and specs and moustaches, its been a very fun time with u all. Ahh...i apologise for me blowing up at times, though i know i shouldn't have. But then again, i'll rem practices at ks's house, wj and his sick sick sick jokes, the trademark crazy laughter, the chord which looks like a bat, zz and his bass.........*nostalgic*

WCS, u guys have made the past 1.5 yrs a memorable one. No idea how to put it. I'll hate to say gdbye. So pls, lets not. (I hate sounding so mushy and attached and totally losing myself) Although the guys have always treated me as a guy...(i shall not complain, right?), and so much has happened between the few of us, i'll rem all the good and the bad, the laughter and tears. Ag, yx, sy, zz, ys, ks...i love you all. All of you.

Thank you PA crew, char and mansoor our darling emcees, calista(pianist), matthew (no.1drummer!), clayton (double bass. thanks for tuning my guitar) for making May 19th 2007 possible. Thank you backstage crew (esp gabriel)for all the hard work. Thanks matt mumu jason jon steph mel ling jane xl eugene timt ter and all others who came!!!!! LOVE YA ALL!!

I LOVE VJHB 06-07! WE ROCKED AND BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE!!!



Entertainers in full costume:)



Entertainers again:)

i'm in a nervous state now, unable to construct my sentences and deleting the previous words at least 10 times.

ok. resonance is tmr. i am officially in a state of nerves and there's this funny clenching feeling in my stomache which i can't describe for nuts. see how words fail me at this instant?????!!!!!!! yes tmr shall be my last official day in VJHB. and strange enough i'll be playing like the bass guitar for almost all e combined songs. arghs. why do i just have e feeling that i'm gonna screw it upside down?!!!!!! guys pls pls pls pls pls pls pls dun laugh at me k. pls don't. ARGHS. i'm gg crazy

and there's slots tmr morning with jason. ARGHS. ok i will survive. btw, huge improvements by guitar ensemble this concert! yay! congrats pple!!!

and i love my group. so yay! GO TITBITS!!!

the week is just starting. i shall aim to remain positive with chem test, artery handover, concert rehearsals, guitar and choir concerts and resonance, AND TSD.

and i'm smelling of primroses and chamomiles and passion fruit now thanks to my new shower stuff. i should be a flower

Absolutely drained, physically. But i've gained quite a few insights from reading Tuesday with Morrie. Made me cry throughout the book, such embarrassement it was on the bus. I can't pinpoint what exactly happened. Just that, by the end of it all...

I'm too tired to do anything now. I think i'll go to bed

Bad day. And i can't find a reason. Perhaps its all because of that

"No more tricks, no more lies, only truth"

When will that day come, when lies cease forever?

---enough said---

Its been a haphazard week, with too much stuff gg on within too little days (strange enough, i was absent 2/5 of the week)

Class photo taking today was rather hilarious, although i swear i looked horrible in the photos, but oh well. Spidey man was rather...strange. The effects were rather gd, but it got a little dry. Hmmm. Not to mention that Toby Mcguire is so NOT hot (even Henry is hotter--he kind of made me cry towards the end) Yeah, rather pathetic "class" outing with only xl alexi timt and i, but i got to meet sister!! Met steph mel and nana after that for the 3 sisters, which is very very impressive in terms of movt, although I couldn't understand a single thing they were doing/saying (its in Japanese). But,well,half of the choreograph was filled with erotic suggestive actions and unmistakably, orgasms. I've never read the play before. Is The 3 Sisters supposed to be like that??? Rather odd, but hilarious.

Oh oh oh, and my bloody 2.4km run today. I passed! And mel tt crazy girl ran twice, the 2nd time with the boys. GO MEL!! BEAT THEM BOYS HANDS (FEET) DOWN!!!!!

Its the season of love in the air.

Two souls whom I thought would stay as one commented on the absurdity of keeping an online diary. Now, both of them are posting, two individuals.

A friend I thought whom i could trust and share told me nothing between us should change. Then, i knew that everything will change, cause time does not wait for you, just like people.

And then I thought time could wash everything away, but it so happens that everytime, just when i'm about to let go and forget, it all just comes rushing back again. A curse. Bittersweet. Painful.

Then i remember what someone told me, "blinded by love? been there, done that, and realised it never lasts". Is that so? Perhaps it didn't last for both, but not even for one?

Is this angst?